Accidental Obfuscation

BTW, in case you’re one of the random people who arrives here via searching and not through my Twitter, you really need to watch Monsters. Brilliant sci-fi thriller/travelogue, made on a very low budget, but you wouldn’t guess it from watching the film. The feeling I was left with after it was over was a physical-yet-emotional reaction I couldn’t really put words to.

And not that they’d spoil much of anything, but I’d really recommend just watching it, and not checking trailers or anything beforehand (If you’re afraid of it being scary or gory, it’s neither. It does have some tense moments, but no jump scares for you elderly or pregnant types).

If your wife is nominated for something at the Oscars, and is looking drop-dead gorgeous, the least you could do is comb your fucking hair. I had to double-take every time they panned over to her because I though she had brought a homeless man to the event.

Being a goth kid doesn’t give you an excuse to look like total fucking shit all day.

Bulletstorm - Easily some of the most fun I’ve had playing a shooter in a long time. Not that I didn’t enjoy others I’ve played recently, but Bulletstorm literally feels like a playground (albeit a very dangerous one). Do not ignore it because of the motif—that is the very point of it. People Can Fly just know how to make shit fun (if you’ve never played Painkiller, pick it up on Steam next time it’s on sale), and dipped in Epic’s bro-licious chocolate shell, you’re doing yourself a disservice ignoring this one as a shooter fan. (Especially if you’re one of those fucks that will ignore this but gobble up Duke Nukem Forever.)

Dragon Age 2 - So it seems as if they’ve Mass Effect-ed the series, which IMO is for the better. There’s a big hubbub over ‘mashing’ the A button to use your default attack, even though you have the option to set it to press A to autoattack, which, at least as far as you general RPG fanboy goes, is totally cool in KotoR/Dragon Age/etc., but god forbid Final Fantasy does it. RPGs are in dire need of a combat system revamp as is—I play them for deep character customization and a solid story (both of which DA2 seems to have), and nowhere do I think “This combat needs to be slowed down and give me 30 mins. to make decisions”. The Dragon Age 2 combat system, at least to me, is a great balance of stategy and action, and other RPGs would do well to follow their lead. The demo was pretty amazing, and I’m definitely looking forward to this iteration of the series.

What I Like:

• Ship Design - Even though some like the Enterprise had a bit of a “PLEASE SHOOT ME HERE” vibe, there was never one that I wouldn’t mind having a statue of sitting on my desk.
• The Characters - While some become downright predictable at times, there was always something about the main crew that always warmed my heart. Even that midget fuck Wesley.
• Data - While I loved the rest of the crew, Data was always the forefront of the show for me. His journey to become as close to human as he could was what always would hook me in. Brent Spiner’s bag of characters was never not entertaining in some way, whether as Data, Dr. Soong, or others. People will always cite the series by their Captain, but Data made TNG.
• The Borg - While I enjoyed the other races and stories in the show, the Borg storylines were always enthralling for me. Also, the birth of Locutus had to have been downright frightening to those watching the show at the time. I think it also showed the strength of the crew, especially Riker, and that Picard’s (metaphoric) armor could be cracked.
• Colm Meaney - Colm Meaney.

What I Didn’t Like:

• The Technology - Yes, the tech of Star Trek was cool, it fucked up the writing big time. A ton of episodes dealt with something ‘infecting’ the ship somehow, and it always had to be “THAT ONE BACTERIA THAT THE TRANSPORT COULDN’T DETECT”. And surely the pride of Starfleet would at least follow protocol and such and not be sloppy and let shit on to the ship, but so many times that seemed to happen. At least on the show, the Enterprise seemed nigh-invincible, yet in ‘Generations’, an old-ass Klingon Warbird literally devastates the ship just by learning the shield frequency…yet no one tried anything of the sort beforehand? I’m sure others could argue for hours about why this and that was able to happen, but the reason I’ve never liked super high-tech sci-fi generally is because it’s so hard to create varied obstacles for the characters without ignoring the technological advances of the age, or creating some sort of deus ex machina for why the technology is unusable or some such bullshit. It never really affected my love of the show once I got into it, but it still doesn’t change my mind about it.
• RAPE TIME FOR DEANNA TROI - Why did it take until ‘Nemesis’ for Deanna to try and evoke some sort of empathetic feedback effect? So goddamn often in the show, there were always forces attacking her mind that no one could do anything about, or there was another psychic/empath on board who would secretly attack her subconscious, to the point of leaving her comatose at times. I got really fucking tired of her being the victim/damsel in distress, and that moment in ‘Nemesis’ was a glorious last hurrah for her.
• Old People Makeup Effects - I know the show didn’t have the best budget at first, and that it started in the late 80’s, but the makeup for elderly folks was fucking miserable, and at time I’d almost confuse them for another race entirely.
• Beardless Riker - Never again.

As for the movies:

• Generations - Interesting, but seemed more like a story cobbled together so they could have a reason to have Picard and Kirk work together.
• First Contact - I’m a bit biased here, as I love the Borg, and it did nothing but bring them back with a roar. A newer, more savage Borg with sweet makeup effects, and Alice Krige as the Borg Queen cemented it as my favorite of the films.
• Insurrection - The one I’d never seen at all, probably my second favorite. Seeing the crew just kick some ass made it great—the part where Picard puts away his Starfleet uniform and starts gearing up for the fight ahead, and the rest of his crew joins him made me squeal like the little fanboy I am.
• Nemesis - Felt like the second weakest of the four, as it had some good moments, but it suffered from a not having a truly strong antagonist, and didn’t really feel like the great sendoff the series really deserved.